Sunday, May 13, 2018

What Separates A Girl From A Woman?

Transitions can be unpleasant, particularly that from a "girl" to a "woman". But what exactly is a "woman"? Is it just reaching a certain age - a certain amount of years spent on Earth - or is it something more than that? Is it the physical developing of "adult" body parts that children don't have? Numerical age and physical appearance just happen to be the 2 most obvious differences between girls and women, but they don't make up the full difference. The full difference between girls and women also consists of emotional control, life experience and maturity.

While men have a genetic disposition towards sex and violence which needs to be controlled, women have their own genetic disposition towards emotions and materialism which needs to be controlled. 

Unfortunately, society has no problem talking about men's maturity problems but keeps silent about women's, which only ends up stunting a lot of women's emotional growth. Perhaps some people think that females are too weak and/or emotional to handle constructive criticism or inconvenient truths - such as those who advocate for censorship, safe spaces, banning the word "bossy" and other regressive endeavors. This is a disservice for those women who truly seek equality to men, and to those women who seek to better themselves. If we never have our mistakes, shortcomings or weaknesses revealed to us, how can we ever try to improve them and/or learn and grow from them?

As a mature person, man or woman, one must be able to be honest with themselves. That includes their strengths and their weaknesses. Men have to work on controlling their sexual and violent urges, natures, desires and proclivities, etc. Women have to work on controlling their emotional and materialist urges, natures, desires and proclivities. These different problems are attributed to the natural, biological differences between men and women.

The fact that women tend to be more emotional than men is usually only looked at when talking about it's positive values - and there are many of them! Unfortunately, there is also a negative side to women being more emotional than men. "Feelings are not facts, and when we confuse them, we get sloppy thinking at best and dangerous action at worst. Simply put, our judgments are not justified." Many of us have experienced a situation where a female friend took something the wrong way and lashed out on us, without actually telling us what they were mad about. (This usually happens more among teenage girls rather than young women, as most people get less impulsive and more in control of their own emotions as they mature.) When women are emotional, they can often hurt themselves by choosing to immediately believe the worst in someone or a situation - especially before having all of the facts. It's become a cliche for women to take things out of context and react in an intense matter, only to find out they misinterpreted the whole thing, sometimes, after it's too late.

In capitalist societies, the fact that women tend to be more materialistic than men is often exploited to get women to spend more money, not pointed out to women so they can try to get better control of it.

As a result, it's no wonder why women's products are so much more expensive than men's. Men shop more for necessity and women shop more for luxury. Often times "retail therapy" is really a defense mechanism not to deal with the problems that the woman is facing - and now it's costing her money! It's great that so many women can work for themselves and earn money that they are proud to spend, however, it's not really healthy to rely on addiction in place of dealing with one's problems. It is a sad reality but many women have fallen victim to shopping addiction, causing themselves to go into great debt because they can't afford to pay for all of their stress.

Self-confidence is a great tool for women to get whatever they want out of life - career or family or both - but it should also be tempered with some humility. Sometimes women get so wrapped up in their own feelings that they don't always take others' feelings into consideration as much as their own. This is especially true when it comes to men, since they show their feelings less often than women do, on average. (This is also why it's important to relax when feeling stressed out.)

Our emotions can sometimes send us on roller coasters. Many women were offended when Freud called women hysterical. Yet, women do seem to have "exaggerated or uncontrollable emotions or excitement" much more than men - particularly in the context of being confronted with unpleasant truths. In fact, many women had some uncontrollable emotions as a direct result of Freud's statements. So instead of proving him wrong, many of his female critics proved him right. A similar situation occurred in the late 70s-early 80s when a comedian named Andy Kaufman decided to wrestle women.

Like a true wrestling heel, Kaufman antagonized women by saying things that he knew would make them get emotional - especially Feminist women. Kaufman smartly played on a biological fact: that most men, on average, are physically stronger than most women (since Feminists were denying biological differences between men and women). The ironic part, is that women were more in control of his act than they realized. Their emotions clouded them from the fact that his act depended on their reaction and involvement. Women made up the majority of his audience and all of his competitors, until he later wrestled Jerry Lawler.

The women who hated him the most, were actually the ones paying him the most, and to see him wrestle other women, because they were so emotional about his antics and they wanted to see him lose. However, if they had just stopped going to his shows and stopped booing him, or even embraced their femininity and not really cared about his opinion, that would've forced him to stop sooner and saved them money as well. Furthermore, in hindsight, he was really treating women as equals by wrestling them and giving women's wrestling a spotlight during a time when it was almost completely male-dominated. Yet instead of thanking him for incorporating them and giving them a platform, many women chose to protest him and tried to end his career.

Women today are encouraged to ride their emotional roller coasters despite the fact that it hurts their integrity and often leads to inconsistency on the woman's part. This can be a problem later when they try to put their foot down, as well as lead to some regrets as they look at the situation later, in hindsight. Even worse, some women take this to an extreme. 

Just like men who take their sex and violence to an extreme (like rape or murder), some women decide to "take control" of their emotions and materialism by using them to manipulate others. Since society has a natural bias to protect and accommodate females, some women will take advantage of this to get the things they want. Sometimes women even take advantage of their own strengths to manipulate men's weaknesses - this is especially seen in false accusations, paternity fraud and divorce situations.

Women who have a more balanced control of their emotions tend to have better life experiences, more success in the workplace, healthier and more successful romantic relationships and mature at a much healthier rate, compared to their impulsive and reactionary peers. 

Females can either experience the freedom and benefits of behaving like a woman or they can be stuck in the perpetual negative cycle that comes with never growing up.

So ladies, ask yourself: Do you react to things more like a girl or a woman?
(Don't ask men to "man up" if you can't "woman up".)